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Autism, TX 2.0 [Aug. 3rd, 2007|05:07 pm]

Haha!  I am posting on the internet from my new apartment in Austin, Texas.  Haha!  That is all.

linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

Gradations [May. 20th, 2007|03:14 pm]
I don't want to be sad but I'd feel much worse if I wasn't.  I told myself entering this final semester that I would have no regrets, and to that pledge I have stood true.  I may not have been the best or most reliable friend all the time but I made myself available and I took in the State College world.  This is only so hard now because college has been so good for me.  I've changed and I've grown and would be hard pressed not to think that it was a mostly positive evolution of Greg.  I cried and I will keep crying, and again I am glad that I can be so sad.  These are tears of joy. 
Four years ago I set off for the mystical land of central Pennsylvania.  I had no real friends coming with me to Old State and was essentially on my own to make a place in this world.  Through a series of odd events: ethernet breaking, coffee spitting, O-Chem, I came to meet the people I would know best.  Within weeks Penn State went from confusing, scary beast to my comforting, welcoming home.  I only spent one summer here and perhaps a regret could be not spending one more, but I'm not too shortsighted now to yearn for memories never formed. 
    I'm taking the decorations down from my wall as I write this.  The objects that have meant enough to deserve wallposting are all incredibly reminiscent of the last 4 years.  Timmy's spongebob poster from freshman year.  A spanish language motivational poster stolen from a Simmons girls bathroom.  October 2004's own George Bush poster.  I want to regain control of my memories.  I dont want them to leak.  I dont need them to flood.  I want them to lock them up, hold them, control the ebb and flow and have them as I please.  I don't want to say I need them but goddamn they are the closest thing I have to doing it all over again.
There are too many people who did themselves disservices by distancing themselves at the end approached.  I can't remember the way things were when people grow aloof and awkward. 

As I've been writing this I've had a somewhat change of heart.  My walls are almost bare.  But I'm not cleaning and leaving to get out of State College (well after people left I got it in my mind that I wanted to get the hell out of here).  I've getting my life in order so I can go to Austin.  I'm starting a new chapter of my life.  To do this chapters must end.  Characters can return from old chapters but the fact remains, they must end.  This is more cliche than I usually write but its something I need to understand.  I'm not entering the real world but I am most definitely moving on.  Oh and spontaneous Eurotrip in 7 days wit Joy should be fun. 
link1 less thon|build a skyscraper in the basement

Keep Austin Weird [Feb. 26th, 2007|09:14 am]
I didn't think I'd be happy about my low batting average when it comes to graduate school, but right now, I'd be thrilled to not have to travel again before Cancun. Airports have got to be top five for loneliest places even whilst surrounded by hundreds of people. I know its not a novel thing to complain about but it's just so irksome that the system isn't more transparent. Moreso, after spending 3 days with UT holding my hand, I wasn't used to having to my own groundwork to evaluate and fix the situation. Also a little disappointed that I got myself in the mindset that last night could be the night I get to sleep in an airport, but oh well, air traffic to Philly returned and I was but a harrowing flight and a shuttle from DE. 

I got 'home' to Delaware around 1 last night and I was surprised by how much I needed some face-to-face communication. With any luck I'll be back 'home' in State College late this afternoon to return and odds are I'll talk to anyone I can get in contact with.
In the event that I don't find people I'll just type a bunch here. 

linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

Another Year, Another Racist Line Dance [Feb. 19th, 2007|12:16 am]
Current Music: Not the LINE DANCE

My last THon as a Penn State student has passed and I had the good fortune of being in Bloomington, IN or just generally out of town for 30 hours of it. No fasting this year because I didn't think the graduate school would understand one man's protest of a 5 million dollar fundraiser. IU was pretty much awesome. They misrepresented their department very well and helped to cleanse me of any prior thoughts about Indiana and the midwest. What formerly elicited an EWWW now brings out an OOOH. It's not much but I'm glad my decision won't require settling.

Saturday night I returned to State College and was obliged to go to THON. I half wanted to see my former committee and half not, but I randomly saw them anyway on their 3am - 6am shift. Nice people, I'm just glad I wasn't one of them for these 46 hours. I'm sure most of what needs said about the linedance has already been said, but I have a journal so I will speak my peace damnit. It was trite and humourless and ill-performed. THON 2004 has definitely given me excessive line dance expectations, but even someone with no expectations should be disappointed with this years sad example of a rallying cry. They decided rhythm was below them and still ran out of time to be clever with the lyrics. My unique take is that they have followed the lead from last year and have a racist slant when addressing the football team. Last year's lyrics included:
M-Rob, Tony, Tamba, too.
Paul Posluzny, we love you.

Three black players: a nickname and two first names. The white albeit award winning LB: full complicated name. Posluzny has injured knee and doesn't return to full speed until late this season (if at all). Tony Hunt remained the only consistently productive cog in the Penn State offense and Tamba Hali had a fabulous first season with the Kansas City Chiefs.

This year:
Puz breaks record, with no fear
Conner stays for one more year

Two white players: Paul does rewin his award (likely on media presence alone), but as I noted above, he was hardly the player he was prior to the knee injury. Dan Connor did play a tremendous season, but the fact remains that he's returning and can be in line dance 2k8 or something. Both big stories for these guys but the neglect of Tony Hunt and even Levi Brown is kind of disconcerting. THON and Penn State at large are incredibly homogenous and it's hard not to think that the Posluzny fascination is at least partially racially based. Looking at these two years' lyrics I can guess the level of story needed to enter the line dance and Tony Hunt more than deserved inclusion with the year he had. Also, on story's sake they could have noted Deon Butler's Penn State single-game receiving record. I know I sound paranoid and am the only one who notices it or cares but when you see it like I see it it speaks volumes. THON is just white enough to dwell on a player who still has a chance to make further impact as a Nittany Lion while neglecting a guy who the team will sorely miss and played a huge part in the bowl win. Oh well, good riddance Penn State. I love you but it's just too much some times.

So two days of being wined and dined by a graduate program have instilled a healthy dose of loathing for the undergraduate population, senioritis, and apparently racial paranoia. Let's see what 3 more days in beautiful Austin, TX this weekend do.
link2 years til the thon we dont have to have|build a skyscraper in the basement

Charlie Weiss for Heissman [Sep. 10th, 2006|09:11 pm]
Ok I just noticed that my Nittany Lions lost to an overrated Noter Dame team. If the Irish are so overrated then I fear what adjective it makes us. This semester was gearing up to be successful then boom bang season over. Quick question for anyone who may read this: Is Notre Dame in our conference or not? That's been a point of contention within my group of friends. I would sell my football tickets now, but my basic knowledge of economics says I should sell high rather than low. I could practically give these tickets away now they are so worthless.
So like many of my peers I am taking classes and doing the graduate program search. I am looking to apply to Washington U in St. Louis, Northwestern, UNC, U Chicago, IUPUI, and the school with the high school football team, PSU. Apparently I like the midwest, but 4 years on the edge has tempered me for the region. Other than this high school reminiscent activity, the semesters been standard fare. Drink too much (legally), study too little (legally) and no thats it.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

the police [Jul. 29th, 2006|08:14 pm]
Its been like 6 months or something since my last bevy of posts, but please please do not get the idea that this post will be the start of some posting spree. It is merely a coincidence that there was a spattering of posts where there is usually only one 6 months ago. I very much enjoy that the State of my LiveJournal is the easiest topic to write about. And i can take a step back and just have these meta entries and think that I'm really deep or something when in fact its just boring. But you the nonexistent reader must realize that I need this information-free buffer text to get the thoughts flowing and the finger jumping.
So I returned from a sort of necessary but still overindulgent vacation to the outer banks today. I know it must have been a good trip because there was around 15 hours of traveling. I wonder if the rules about travel time are spoken or not. This trip was the perfect vacation in that by the end, all of my State College and real world concerns had vanished. I had managed to forget life and live in the moment. I wonder if I'll get to do that again for a while. Its not sad or anything to return to my approximation of the real world because I mean fuck, its real dick to act like having to come back from vacation is anything to complain about. Sentences like that do however make worry about the writing portion of the GRE. I can't really see myself doing it, but it would be funny to accidentally drop into my faux-street vernacular and roll out the cliches and fucks. I'm going to start hoping we get an experimental writing section.
This all is now cause to get sad as no more than 2 hours back to reality and I think about the GRE. I'm certainly looking forward to graduate school and the future and family and dying but its called the future for a good reason. I mean i guess it is, i dont do word roots. Some times I wish I lived a dangerous life where mortality reared its face every so often. My only brushes with death are within shot glasses, and that horrid fate more often ends in getting loud and passing out. And no, I will not take up alcoholism so that I can stare down death, get grounded in the now, fear the end. Maybe... I am 21 in like a week or 3. And really, what makes someone fear death more than margaritas at Chilis with a howling bunch of secretaries?

Life isnt all thoughts and ruminations but its nice sometimes. I'd like to drink too much and question the cosmos without people calling me belligerent and shutting me out. Now's my chance. Senior year at Penn State is the time when you can think you own the world and dignity is only a passing fad. I have a year to come as close as I can to ruination while still maintaining a respectable self. I fear I may just need to forgo that respectable part.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

Penn State Starvation Marathon [Feb. 17th, 2006|05:34 pm]
I'm about to enter the awesome world of fasting. Officially, after 8 PM tonight, I will avoid eating until 8PM on Sunday. For THON, against THON, I don't really know, but it seemed like a fun thing to do. I want to keep a log of my thoughts and feelings as it progresses to see if it parallels the dancer experience at all. I guess the big difference is that I don't have moralers/ a cause.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

2 Legit [Feb. 13th, 2006|03:02 am]
Oh man what a weekend. That was my presupposition about how I'll feel after THON weekend. Its unbelievable how close THON is. THON THON THON. I love it all. If I didnt spend all night dreaming about THON I don't know how I'd ever sleep. Here's to the dancers, the moralers, the captains, the committees, the general revelers, and most importantly, the DJ. Larry Moore, you are the man that makes dancers' dreams come true. God bless and I can't wait until the THON that we don't have to have.
link1 less thon|build a skyscraper in the basement

(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2006|03:00 am]
I don't know. Surely its bullshit, but maybe i came off a little harsh. In my defense, I was drinking.
link1 less thon|build a skyscraper in the basement

(no subject) [Feb. 10th, 2006|09:03 pm]
the world is bullshit. I know its cliche, but the World is Absolute Utter Bullshit. Seriously, we are fucking doomed as a people. Nothing fucking matters. the world is bullshit. don't take my word on it, but try to step out there into the world and you'll get nothing but cowdung on your pumas. Don't wear Pumas? Cow dung on whatever the fuck you wear. understand it, the world is bullshit. If you are human, you are a fucking piece of shit bullshitter. That is all.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

The great American cannibalism flick. [Jan. 20th, 2006|07:38 pm]
Setup: An American University
Our cast features four roommates just trying to make it in the rough collegiate life until they get temporarily sidetracked. The four of them independently come to the conclusion that people likely taste good, and they collectively make a pact that they will eat a person by the end of the term. Some of the events that lead to the decisions include one of the roommates being a little teethy when with his boyfriend and another roommate being overly hungry during a class discussion on Titus Andronicus. Hilarity ensues as their friends and random acquiantances find themselves in perilous situations that put them on the verge of being tonight's dinner. One particularly noteworthy setup has an oafish friend named Chad, succumbing to alcohol poisoning, being fought over by the roommates. Two want to take him to the hospital, the other two want him deep fried. In the end, we'll see our boys grapple with morality and the question of what humans taste like. Whether they ever get the chance to dine on man may be irrelevent but there's always a sequel.

Don't steal my ideas. I have the next american pie on my hands.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

(no subject) [Jan. 16th, 2006|08:13 pm]
Blogging is perhaps the most exciting pursuit of the 21st century. I mean just say the word 'blog'. Aroused, aren't you? You can blog on your blog about politics or movies or blogs. The possibilities are only limited by how pathetic you want to appear. Personally, I want to blog about movies. I'm limited mostly by the fact that I don't write reviews well and rarely have extensive insights on film. Those are nice complements to my lack of proper training on film criticism. Apparently I have no lack of self deprecation. Ha Ha.
I get the feeling that this will serve as my end of 2005 SLASH beginning of 2006 entry. I moved into my first apartment in 2005. It looks like I won't move out until some time in 2007 and boy gosh is that far off. The Philadelphia Eagles were a good team this time last year. They are still good but we talk about them like they're the sick friend now. I got my first realish job in 2005 and that was fun. I didn't so much care for the work, but wearing tucked in shirts and passing out in cubicle was pretty novel. I've taken a liking for writing about things I actually believe and shit that has happened. This scares me.
So um where I cared about the birds this time last year, I became a cat fan and then a horse fan and at this very moment a different horse fan. Here's hoping I don't have to become a cat or bird fan for the wrong reasons. TB will know exactly what I'm saying.
i feel like i've expended my ability to lie so blatantly on this blog over the past 2 year that i'd been writing in it so frequently.
In all seriosity, 2005 was a satisfying year where I did a lot but I don't feel like it needs analysing. I grow as a person but its still really meaningless. I have nothing to write when years don't contain relevant elections. Paul Hackett could have provided a relevant election but the reddest district in Ohio still swayed Jean Schmidt's way and I get the feeling they already regret it.
To tie it all together I'll try something I've never done before and create a top 10 movie list for the calendar year 2005. Certainly I havent seen everything I wanted to but I'm damn close.
1. Mysterious Skin
2. Brokeback Mountain
3. Me and You and Everyone We Know
4. Squid and the Whale
5. Manderlay
6. Sin City
7. Palindromes
8. Kung Fu Hustle
9. Syriana
I'm really at a loss for what could be number 10, but there are enough movies (Three Burials, GN and GL, Match Point, Munich) that I have yet to see that its not necessary. I saw Thumbsucker yesterday and if only it was as compelling as the trailer made it out to be it could have a spot, but alas no. Harry Potter, Star Wars or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory could have a place too but I like to really indie or something. And since this is the internet and its important to be edgy, here's my dishonorable mentions: I hate hate hated Crash. No it did not make my think anything about race other than the fact that I couldn't remember any character other than the stereotype the were casted as ie 'remember the scene with the benevolent mexican guy?' I did not get Wedding Crashers. I'm glad there are movies that don't need to be laugh a minute, but when that movie tried to elicit laughter it seemed to fall flat. When Vince Vaughn spoke it was pure gold but otherwise very blah to me. And Will Ferrell did not help. Lastly King Kong. I think everything that needs said about King Kong has already been said and I'm starting to get carpal tunnel.
See you next year.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

TB [Nov. 1st, 2005|06:29 pm]
Recently its been getting harder and harder at home. As many of you know, I've had a run in with TB this year. I was worried for awhile that it would make life too much to handle and just recently do my premonitions seem to be coming true. It was cheeky at first when he would eat his cereal loudly and wear pants as often as the horse he sounded like. Now, he's wholly forgone wearing pants around the place. I don't really mind seeing his manliness, but his aversion to clothing has prompted him to keep the place hellishly hot. I feel tempted to follow suit and join him in his naked games. Beyond that, he has the worst taste in music I've ever encountered. Well that may be going too far, but the problem lies in that he dons his falsetto and sings along with broadway and ghetto shit. Again, it was cheeky and kind of funny when he did operatic renditions of Fall Out Boy, but there are lines and he has crossed them.
I did get lucky on a few fronts. We always hear about dirty or smelly roommates. TB is not one of them (if you make exceptions of his messes in the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom). He's insanely clean, bathing sometimes thrice a day. This isn't a fault if you were wondering. I love him for this.
I mustn't forget. I have a ridiculous case of TB and its not going away anytime soon. I just pray it (he) doesn't get any worse.
link2 years til the thon we dont have to have|build a skyscraper in the basement

No cut, fuck you [Jul. 26th, 2005|10:43 pm]
    I watch a lot of movies. Well, I slowed down for awhile but am now back at full, it's summer time, speed. Something like averaging a new movie a day for last week or so. I was struck that too largely disparate movies, I Robot and the Woodsman, seem remarkably similar when watched close together. If you've seen the movies, you'll be aware I'm comparing pedophiles to robots. And somehow, it made sense to me. I think it was the cocky black detective that brought it home anyways.
    Comparing movies I've actually seen is a little to down to earth for a livejournal entry for me, so I guess this is the point where I branch off into the incomprehensible. I like John Roberts. I bet he works out a lot. With his apparent health, he'll be on SCOTUS until 2045, when we will finally have flying abortions. Damn Jetsons for getting me hyped for 2000. Did you ever notice that the cars had a lot of exhaust in that show? With all the glass enclosed buildings, it was a like a green architect's wetdream, but the cars wouldn't know the meaning of the word hybrid if they didn't fold up into suitcases. Given the last point I can't blame them. Ever try fitting a catalytic converter in a briefcase?
    I'm a drug dealer this summer. Moving closer to reality, let's blow it up. No no, this is fine, I think I've probably made enough stupid jokes about it. Promise you will never let me get into pharmaceuticals just because of the whole 'drug' aspect of it. Legalize them, and then I'll have a profession. But keep marijuana illegal, it would be hilarious. This whole exaggeration and fanciful language is really testing me. Time to use standard copout number 1. Copy large block of text and respond.
Killer whales are members of the scientific family of toothed whales called Delphinidae, the dolphin family. The killer whale is the largest member of the dolphin family. Killer whales live in all the oceans of the world. They’re most abundant in the Arctic and Antarctic, and areas of coldwater upwelling, where the nutrient-rich water is full of marine life to feast on. Killer whales live in groups called pods. A pod may consist of as few as five and as many as about 30 individuals: a mix of males, females, and calves of varying ages. Sometimes, several smaller pods join together to form larger herds of 50 or more whales.
    Are the liberal killer whales, who are all like, no man, save the plankton dude, killing is bad, no more blood for krill? I hope so, fuck up those damn redneck dolphins and their no gun laws.  But alas, those outcast whales would not kill the dolphins, merely sign petitions against them and shit.  Whales do nothing but slow down the processes of government.  Takes them 20 minutes to let out all the moans incorporated in YEA or NEA.  and they're fat.  But I like it when politicians are fat.  Its why Dennis Hastert will never be president.  Maybe back in the early 1900s a fat president  or a wheelchair president could skate into office, but now, they gotta be fit and getting blowjobs.  Sadly this is also the reason why Condoleeza Rice will be president.  Everyone will cheer "First Female President", but she'll (he'll) snicker.  No one died when Condi lied.
    There were a great many areas across the US of A experiencing record highs today.  News people think its hot shit to see records broken, so I wonder if for like the first year or so that they were keeping track of temperatures in any given area, the local television meteorologist wasn't creaming himself every other day with most rainfall ever or Hottest Low for January EVER.  Probably not, but give any modern TV weatherperson a time machine and the correct dates and you'll be in for some excitement.  They should make a movie with that premise.
    My days in the sun are numbered, but I still have a final thought.  I wondered what would happen if, say tomorrow, scientists discovered human blood could be used as a fuel to replace gasoline.  I didn't think too long about it because it makes no sense, but I'll leave you with the punchline to the joke I made on the topic.  If you cut an Iraqi, does he not bleed?
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

Oh NO. [Dec. 30th, 2004|04:50 am]
But why is the RUM gone. I went an entire semester of college without updating this trashheap of a journal. The actual entry )
    In the end, 2004 wasn’t very fun. We lost Montana@@!..1 I still hate colors. That’s not slang. I hate green with a passion. Oh, I’m a big fan of the Green party, but that COLOR….do not get me started. And BLUE . Not enough bad things can be said about blue. Have you seen the French flag. It features the color blue. As if I didn’t have enough reason already to boycott freedom toast et al. Our president, (our refers to America) was reelected in a landslide. I don’t watch television but my guess was a 411 - 119 electoral vote margin favoring the big GW. Rock on 2004! Just don’t let rich musicians rock on alongside. They only live to spout lies.



This microphone is symbolic of my Xmas (that's internet for christmas) present.  I received a Sennheiser XL28 microphone.  It's tri directional and can go through any metal detector without being detected.  I am lucky.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

Post when Drunk [Jul. 20th, 2004|01:48 am]
On another forum, drunking posting is strictly prohibited. Here the rules are mine, but i will still backspace the boop out of this to prevent Djsflk ;sls drunbk. Well a hard ass week of work ended today, week being a stretch of days on the clock.
What else is there to do but imbibe the liquors, eh? Me, Chandler, and Andy went on a run for Chan's upcoming party but received alcohol different from our demands. Learn 5th is not handle and Artic Peach is sure as hell Lemon Vodka. Well our suppliers mistakes became tonights success. Artic lemon and vodka tastes like lemon seed and smells like teriyaki sauce but who cares when you're aiming to finish a bottle through testtube shaped shot glasses? Another round of overproof rum, a battle with the Captain ( with mixed results), and a round of cigars and this ended as another great night.
But alcoholism aside, my point is, I heard some girl say the other day that the dumbest thing she ever did as a result of intoxication was swim in clothes, and that made me wonder what my dumbest thing was compared to that lesser experience. All I came up with was 'drink more alcohol'. So I would like to know what your stupid choice was under the influence. Ask a friend if yours sucks too.
linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

Finally a real entry [Jul. 15th, 2004|02:40 am]
I'm ready to enter the territory of LiveJournal users. Users who use literary elements like truth and personality to write entries. That's right, this entry will be based on my current situation in life and shit.

I am not willing to talk down Delaware anymore.

Sure, I drank tonight. Some Goldshlager, too much overproof rum, but shut up, they don't drive me. I'm sober enough now. Tonight wasn't about having anything to do besides drinking. It was about living. I've found where I want to be. Kill me now please. This was the kind of reflective night that I'm sure people out there would kill for. If you've never had a chance to just walk around, smoke, with friends and just talk, lay it all out, your dreams, memories, desires, you've missed out. I won't mind saying I'm lucky for how great a time I just had.

That's all there is to it, place is more than location and what there is to do, it's who you have to be there with. I've been enlightened on the importance of relationships and how people are the most valuable thing you have. If you see a friendship weakening or a bridge being burned, try to fix it, to heal your bond. You may never know how important that one friend, that one person, could be to you.

Fuck it, respect everyone, help people out whenever you can. If you have the ability, its your obligation. Don't let the days pass you by. Don't live for anyone else. Live.

I'm so happy with where I am right now. I hope you can be too.
link1 less thon|build a skyscraper in the basement

Final Push to the Sun (Hopefully) [Jul. 14th, 2004|09:01 pm]

I'm going crazy racking my brain for the last specks of clever.  Damn you and your silly ideas of a fun way to improve your day.  I'm so blasted empty of this unreachable crazy talk and paragraph after paragraph of babble. Even free writing requires a spark.  I need the container, the gas, and the middle school full of screaming children to blow up, too. 

I'll field a question, which is likely too long for me to read, so you don't need to read it either. 

While shopping for a new microwave I was asking the salesperson at a local store some questions regarding microwaves. He proceeded to tell me how dangerous they were and that they used to sell some sort of testers to see if the new microwaves they were selling "leaked radiation". He told me that they all did and that microwaves give off "harmful" radiation. He said that it affects the food that we cook in it and can cause cancer. He said "Think about it, when you get an x-ray the tech covers himself with a lead shield and here we are putting our food into this and there is no lead shield. Needless to say I did not purchase a microwave yesterday, and was wondering if you could please give me some insight on this and tell me is what this salesperson told me is true. Are microwave ovens really harmful? Do they cause cancer? What about the food, does it become toxic. A friend of mine is totally into all organic food and she "unplugged" her microwave years ago and never used it since. She swears it is harmful. Please help. Heating food in a pot is so inconvenient!! – KO

 

Oh, Killer Octopus, what won't you ask about.  If you had the slightest inkling that your four year old son Joshua was going to be abducted while you took your eyes off him at Branbridge Park, you'd ask me how to build a time machine in order to rescue from his captors at various stages into the ordeal.  You saw it as a way to get into your son's favor more than your neglectful self could ever be, but gosh darn that Stockholm Syndrome, wouldn't want impressionable little Joshie to like two men of questionable motive from Belarus more than your sorry self.

Kris Orr, your parents were pioneers in the art of destroying a normal name.  Oh no, it reflects our European heritage.  Shut it woman, you in America now, your name is Chris.  Not even. Your name will be Christina.  Let the child who you obviously weren't going to care much about have some influence on the horror that is her life.  She can tell people to spell it Kris or Chrys or kos2.0.  I'm actually thankful for all the Dakotas and Crystals and Jasmines.  These are people who will never be competing for the same jobs as me until I try out at the Ol' Strippery on a whim.

linkbuild a skyscraper in the basement

(no subject) [Jul. 14th, 2004|08:16 am]
Dr. B, you're draining me. I've reached the point that all users who are used to posting once every two months reach. I'm in the midst of my long period of thought drought. So here's an email I sent to Thran.
Subject: Check out this guy's taint. It's insane. Like a squirrel's
Dear Ryan,

I am writing to you from the shores of the Delaware. Captain told me I’m goin in on a suicide mission, so I figured I’d send this to you before my inevitable passing. Isn’t that crazy that you can multi with a plasma sword and look like an elite (aesthetic purposes only). Oh boy, the only shame is that the release date is during the school year. I sure hope you fellas can wait until the holidays to go in-depth on single player mode. Pass that on to Joe Paul. Well, I’ll get to the point. I’m dying, Ryan, and I have this cool picture from tubgirl.com (don’t ask) that I want you to see. It’s called IMG_0783.jpg. It’s going to be all over the internet. Prank your friends in the posse, kthx. I’m off to fight the japs, and hopefully, I’ll see another day. If all goes to plan, at least I’ll die knowing I pranked Voltzie with IMG_0783.jpg first. Goodbye and godspeed.

XOXOXOXO

Pvt. Gregor


I bet you can't guess which Ryan was weirded out by me. The reason is can't is that Ryan Poppernickel doesn't exist outside of my mind. And boy howdy is that an experience to have an imaginary 'friend' find you far too odd to be around. We were talking about why Europe needs larger cars and Ryan decided to insult my beloved Vauxhall. That Bitch. We travelled to England last fall, together, and I have anecdotal evidence that Ryan, at least when we were there, was full on enamored with the Vauxhall. When we needed a taxi, it'd be Vauxhall or nothing. Nothing entailed me driving Ryan's oldschool rickshaw from 1983. Before I was born, Ryan travelled much more and was not restricted by my time and monetary constraints. Anyways, I flipped out at Ryan's comment and mocked him for not being human. Whatever, I don't need him. The chorus of voices agrees.
link1 less thon|build a skyscraper in the basement

Yarr. I will never post again [Jul. 14th, 2004|01:54 am]

Today was horrible. Three fourteen year olds (no dashes necessary) dragged my beloved pet muskrat into the street to be forcibly ran over by and semi and a durango with a hemi.  He lived, but gosh darn those rascals.  They tried to suck away my liveblood and then spit it out on the road and make me clean it up with a twisty straw covered in razor wire.

Who do they think they are.  I asked them why they are taking my muskrat Sally Fields into the road, and the told me, "We are taking your muskrat, Sally Fields, into the road for two reasons.  The first reason is: we want you to see how much stronger we are than Sally Fields.  We want Sally Fields to know how much stronger we are than him.  We want him to tell all other muskrats about the overwhelming relative strength of a gaggle of fourteen year olds."

"What is the second reason?"

"The second reason is: we want muskrat to feel pain like angst of the livejournal users."

What a horrible reason, but it was enough to keep me from posting this entry and ever posting again.  There you have it, the terrrorists have won.  Houston's own Assaulted Nuts will not be performing Friday night at the Whitehorse Saloon.  Thanks David Cross.

Buy Mr Show Season Four DVD when it is released September 21st.  This is a note to myself not you.  I don't need you bogarting the Mr. Show goodness though it couldn't hurt.

 

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